Lindsay's Not Losing Weight This Week - Don't read this for inspiration

So I've been trying really hard to get my paper done. I really wanted to have it finished by the end of this weekend. Obviously, it didn't happen. It really got the point where I wanted to quit and be done with it. Thankfully, I walked away for a while, thought about what a loser I would feel like if I quit after getting this far, and decided to stick with it. Haven't been able to look at my paper since though. Every time this week I've come close to getting some work on it done, I get a huge mental/emotional block that makes me cuss it and hate it and meltdown as opposed to actually working on it. Very convenient (UGH!). Now, armed with chocolate and whole milk, I'm going to tackle it.

This has absolutely NOTHING to do with losing weight. You got that?! NOTHING! And you know what. If I balloon into a whale in the next few weeks to get this done. I can fix that! I'll even make a deal. If I finish this degree (alive) by the end of this summer (deadline for everything is July 16), I will work out at least every other day from the point of when I'm finished with my work through Christmas. I know others who went through this crap in order to get their degrees know and understand what I'm going through have done the same thing. Basically, I'm not going to give a CRAP about my personal well-being (excluding hygiene, that will be well taken care of) in order to care more and complete the degree.

Another promise. I won't attempt to get another degree until I've reached my goal weight. However, I will say that I may reach my goal weight within the next year. FEAR NOT for it will be a good 20 years AT LEAST before I try this crap again.

I will say that the meals I eat are fairly healthy. I have not been eating out a lot at all and everything for lunch and breakfast is low fat and with plenty of nutrients and low calories. Dinner is a little bit of stretch, but not much. What I'm really about to go completely overboard on is snacks. So I guess that's not too awful bad considering the first time I really started going overboard with all of this, a year ago, I spent a good chunk of time in tons of drive thru's between Atlanta and Carrollton.

In summation:
This is my fat time. Doesn't make it ok for you, but you know your stress limits, not me. I may be a beached whale on my family vacation, but at least those people have to love me anyways. And at least it will be a VACATION. I've forgotten what that's even like. And if my work is finished by then, I'll be working out every other day while I'm there anyways.

For those who were able to diet and exercise during their final, hellacious push through graduate work: I hate and respect you.

I'll get back on and let y'all know the new starting point in several weeks when this is all over. Or I might write before then once I get a better attitude about all of this.

This isn't the end, just the beginning of a new jumping off point!

Square 2

I'm not starting completely back at Square 1 because I have not ballooned (I don't think) and have been eating fairly well (but not fantastic) this past month. So I'd consider myself at Square 2, though I'd like to be back at Square 5.

Like I said, I haven't gone completely overboard. I've had some good weekends filled with Zaxby's and Mexican food, but kept myself fairly roped in during the week. Next time when I go crazy on calories and fat, it will just be one meal instead of the whole weekend. I will miss my poptarts in the morning and little Ben & Jerry's cups of ice cream at lunch, but it's for the greater good, and I think I've found some alternates that will be much better and still taste fabulous.

SCHOOLWORK
I've taken my second written exam (still haven't heard back from that professor) and am currently working on what should be my final revision of my paper. It's going somewhat slow, but I'm trying to tweak it just right so I won't have to do any more revisions (not sure if that's going to fly or not, but I'm trying!). After this paper I'll do an oral exam and will be finished for graduation at the end of July! Can't believe I'm finally this close!

FOOD
So yeah, I binged a little this weekend by going to a Pub Crawl in Raleigh with some family and friends as well as over-indulging in everything else delicious to eat that weekend. It was so worth it, and what better way to kick off a diet?

One BIG help with the food choices and recipes is hungrygirl.com. A friend of mine recommended it last week and I've been glued to the site ever since. My only problem is that all the desserts that look so good require pumpkin, and the 3 local grocery stores I've gone to have not had any. I know there was a shortage, but SOMEbody has to have some SOMEwhere. My next stop is walmart and after that, I just don't know. We'll see, though!

Breakfasts for the most part are going to be smoothies from my knock-off Bullet blender. A little light protein milk (low fat), with half a container of fat-free yogurt, strawberries, bananas, and a little milk/orange juice and I'm set to go! One priority I want to have this time on the strict diet is taking my vitamins. I'm horrible about forgetting to and the Bullet doesn't dice it up very well. I'm looking for a mortar and pestle to grind the pills up with and then put in the shake. THAT would be nice.

Lunches are sandwich, light pringles (only 14 of them), a few pieces of orange, and some pudding with a 100 calorie bag of popcorn to pop for a snack later. Then tonight for dinner I'm trying Hungry Girl's recipe for chicken cordon bleu. Looks really good and only has 3 ingredients! Slap some frozen veggis on the side and that sucker is balanced and good to go! YUM!

I'm also eyeballing Hungry Girl's recipe for some fudge, but once again, the pumpkin shortage is KILLING me!

My friend Rachel has started Weight Watchers online and they are having a pretty good deal on things right now. I'm really considering it and, depending on my budget, may sign up before the end of next week. It's a great idea and she's already lost 8 pounds in just the last 4 weeks! So awesome.


EXERCISE
I need, Need, NEED to get my butt to the gym in the morning. I really like the input y'all had about that earlier. I'm just having a really hard time waking up early during the week. Not sure what the hang-up is, but I'm trying to work through it. In the meantime, I have some workout videos I can do in the afternoons when I get home from work that I may try for now.

TAKING THE STAIRS - I need to remind myself of it. But I've decided to start taking the stairs at work from now on. Every little bit helps!

Can't wait to catch back up and get back on track.

Get back with y'all next week!